The morning after pill

The Shadow attended all of the GOP GOV parties. Here is my report and hope for the future:

Oberweis: Good food. But I understand why Jack Roeser is a little (whistle here). Have you seen his sweater wear in person? It is far worse than anything here. Oh dear, similar to mercury poisoning, this material leeks into one's skin, travels to one's brain, and causes a profound hatred for Gays and logic.

Topinka: Smart. Cash bar. Save money, you will need it. Mark Kirk is as exciting as the clean, white Navy uniform I always imagine him wearing. I don’t know why, but I think he really gets into the Y-M-C-A dance at sporting events. Maybe he earned some ribbons for Macarena contests in the 90s? For some reason, the crowd looked similar to George Ryan's '98 victory party.

Gidwitz: Packed with Rauschenberger supporters, open bar but only carrots to eat. Gidwitz's charming wife should have been the candidate. Did not see it, but a press friend told me there was a fight and someone was ejected. For the 10% who voted for Ron, can't we all get along?

Brady: This guy may be a play'yaaa. Expect a big hug from Topinka. She appreciates gentleman Bill. Brady/Durkin '10? Needs to drop the loafer wear sans socks, but the future is bright for William. My hope: get your beautiful family into the commercials.

Martin: Who the heck are the 5902 citizens that voted for "My Favorite Martin"? No victory party, but I imagine it would be a crazy affair that even Jack Ryan would attend. We wish him the best, as we don't like lawsuits. Martin in 08! Martin in 10! Martin in 12!...Martin in 58!

Oh yeah, our last wish: Oberweis, please, please run again...in Alaska.