Thursday, July 20, 2006

Natarus Goes Postal

As you probably know, Chicago alderman Burton Natarus made headlines on Tuesday with a weird rant, which you can watch here. (Hat tip: YDD)He blamed black postal workers for problems with the mail and said that, "Of all the places in the United States where Afro-Americans have an opportunity with benefits and with good pay to do a job, it's the postal service." But then again, where could someone like Natarus get a job, other than the Chicago City Council? The guy's old, ugly, and has no eyebrows. And no sense, either.

At least the Post Office delivers. Even if it's raining, or hot, or there's ten feet of snow, your mail still comes. On the other hand, all the City Council does is go to meetings once a month. Trans fats? Smoking ban? A living wage? Natarus and others earn a living by making fun stuff illegal. In the name of those who like to smoke and eat Twinkies while working for 50 cents an hour, I think we should get rid of the CCC and replace it with the Post Office. The aldermen could get cool uniforms and drive around in little trucks, going to everyone in their ward.Then Natarus could see how hard it is to be a mail carrier, with a heavy bag full of letters, the sun beating down, and no end in sight. I don't know about you guys, but my dog would bark if he came to the door.

11 comments:

Anonymous,  10:20 PM  

Great idea. I'd like to see Burt in the shorts and pith helmet. Maybe they could post the picture on his website.

I'd also be willing to reteach my dog to bite postal workers.

And I think alderman can already carry guns, in case Burt were to get fired. That way he could take out his frustration on his fellow CCC members.

Amy Allen 8:17 AM  

Thanks. The rest of the CCC should think about the gun thing, too.

Yellow Dog Democrat 8:23 AM  

LOL!

I'd like to add that Natarus conveniently ignores the government agency that employs the largest number of African Americans: the U.S. Army. I'd love to see Bobblehead Burt in one of those helmets.

Anonymous,  9:14 AM  

Ok, Amy....is it really necessary to blog something that's already been blogged on this site?

Try being original.

John Ruberry 11:07 AM  

When God calls Burt home, will his skull be donated to the Goodman Theater as a comic foil, as Del Close may have done?

Burt's a great clown.

Cal Skinner 1:12 PM  

Welcome from your blog nap, Amy.

And, don't worry about those anon types. They can't even think up an original name. (I'd suggest "default.")

Eddie,  1:39 AM  

Burt is crazy, but he is mean crazy

Anonymous,  9:57 AM  

Burt Nut-arus, who keeps voting for this clown?

Smoot Snodgrass 9:02 AM  

Natarus is quite the statesman. He brings tremendous legislative finesse to address problems in his ward each day. This recent flap over his racist remarks about the U.S. Postal Service is a fine example of his problem solving skills.

First, let's be sure to alienate the member of congress who represents your ward and who serves on the House committee overseeing the U.S. Postal Service by ridiculing him on local television.

Second, be sure to use plenty of racially-charged rhetoric, insinuating that the U.S. Postal Service "stinks" because it is run by African Americans. The alderman displayed considerable restraint by choosing to call African Americans "Afro-Americans" instead of another less flattering word he's used in years past.

As the crisis in the Middle East continues to spiral out of control, I am sure that Alderman Natarus will find his name on President Bush's "A-List" to lead a diplomatic delegation to Lebanon to work things out.

When and if that time comes, I plan on restocking my 1940's-era bomb shelter...

Amy Allen 8:25 PM  

Thanks for reading, everybody.

Anonymous,  8:03 AM  

shame on you for perpetuating the terrible derogatory term "going postal".

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